The list in verses 9-23 includes only Jewish lay people (called the men of the nation), who were not priests or Levites. From verses 9 to 17a the list is according to the names of families and from verses 17b to 23 it is according to the names of places.

Translators will need to determine how to present the list. Good News Bible uses columns to list the names and to state the numbers as numerals. Revised Standard Version lists the names and the numbers in a brief prose form. If columns are used, verses will need to be grouped together, for example, 9-17a and 17b-23 (so Good News Bible). However, if they are presented in text format, each verse can be identified separately by number (so Revised Standard Version). What is important for the translator to remember is that lists are difficult and even tedious to read and therefore their presentation must be as clear as possible for the receptor culture. As each new group of people is introduced, Good News Bible explicitly repeats the information that they were people who “returned from exile” (see verses 9|prj:GNT92.1 Esdras 5.9, 24, 26, 29, 33, 35) or who “also returned” (see verse 17b|prj:GNT92.1 Esdras 5.17b).

The number of the men of the nation and their leaders: The names in the list of verses 9-17a are those of ancestors, the names of the family groups, not the names of the leaders. The leaders were named in verse 8. New English Bible makes this clear by saying “The numbers of those from the nation who returned with their leaders were.” Another possible model is “Here are the numbers of lay people who returned with each family group and their leaders.”

The sons of Shephatiah …: Each family name is preceded by the phrase sons of, meaning “descendants of.” Good News Bible refers to the descendants as “clan.” We may also say “family group.” The family names and numbers here differ somewhat from those in the parallel lists of Ezra 2.3-20 and Neh 7.8-25. Translators should not try to harmonize the variants of names and numbers in this list and those in the lists of Ezra and Nehemiah.

The sons of Pahathmoab, of the sons of Jeshua and Joab (verse 11): The text specifies here that the descendants of Pahathmoab who returned to Judah were those who were descended through the lines of Jeshua and Joab. Pahathmoab means “governor of Moab.” Revised Standard Version writes it as a single word as in the Greek text. Good News Bible follows the Hebrew by writing it as two separate words. Translators should be consistent in whether they write names like Pahathmoab as one word or two. They should follow the version that they have adopted as their model.

The sons of Ater, namely of Hezekiah (verse 15): Although some versions understand these names to refer to two different people, one being the descendant of the other (so King James Version, New English Bible, Revised English Bible, An American Translation), others take them to be two names for the same ancestor as Revised Standard Version and Good News Bible have done (so New Revised Standard Version, Contemporary English Version). It is preferable to take them as two names for the same person.

The sons of Arom (verse 16): No number is given for this family group, which is not even mentioned in the parallel lists of Ezra and Nehemiah.

An alternative model for verses 9-17a is:

• 9 Here are the numbers of lay people who returned with each family group [or, clan] and their leaders:

• Parosh group – 2,172

• Shephatiah group – 472

• 10 Arah group – 756

• 11 Pahath Moab group (descendants of Jeshua and Joab) – 2,812

• 12 Elam group – 1,254

• Zattu group – 945

• Chorbe group – 705

• Bani group – 648

• Bebai group – 623

• Azgad group – 1,322

• 14 Adonikam group – 667

• Bigvai group – 2,066

• Adin group – 454

• 15 Ater group (also known as Hezekiah) – 92

• Kilan and Azetas group – 67

• Azaru group – 432

• 16 Annias group – 101

• Arom group

• Bezai group – 323

• Arsiphurith group – 112

• 17 Baiterus group – 3,005

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on 1-2 Esdras. (UBS Helps for Translators). Miami: UBS, 2019. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.

As noted in the comments on verses 9-17a, the names in verses 17b-23 are place names, not the names of people. The sons of Bethlehem is literally “Sons from Bethlomon.” Then in verses 18-19 The men of is literally “Those from [or, out of].” In verse 20a there is another change, which refers to the Chadiasans and Ammidians. Then in verses 20b-21b The men of (literally “Those from”) is used again. Finally in verses 21c-23 The sons of (literally “Sons of”) occurs. At verse 17b Good News Bible inserts a paragraph break and adds the following sentence to explain that towns are named in verses 17b-23: “People whose ancestors had lived in the following towns also returned.” This addition will be helpful for many languages. Good News Bible does not make any distinction between the town groups introduced by “Sons of/from” and those introduced by “Those from.” There may well be no real distinction. Our model below tries to keep the distinction. We use “people from” to express “Those from,” and “people in groups from” to express “Sons of/from.” (We say “people in groups from” rather than “groups from” in order to make clear that the numbers given refer to numbers of people, not numbers of groups.)

In our model below we do not follow the Greek but Revised Standard Version and Good News Bible for four of the names. We recommend Bethlehem instead of “Bethlohom,” Bethel instead of “Betolio,” Elam instead of “Calamolalus,” and Jericho instead of “Jerechus.” The names Bethlehem, Bethel, Elam, and Jericho are probably familiar enough that confusion would result from using any other form. However, there should be a footnote on The sons of Bethlehem (literally “Sons from Bethlohom”) since the meaning of the Greek text is uncertain. “Sons” is like the preceding list of personal names, but the preposition “from” is like the list of place names that follows. In spite of the spelling “Bethlomon,” we think this is surely a reference to Bethlehem, and that the original text had (as we are translating) “people from Bethlehem” (Bewer, page 23). Elam is named twice, once in verse 12, again in verse 22, where the place is called the other Elam.

The town names and numbers here differ somewhat from those in the parallel lists of Ezra 2.21-35 and Neh 7.26-38. Once again translators should not try to harmonize the variants of names and numbers in this list and those in the lists of Ezra and Nehemiah.

An alternative model for verses 17b-23 is:

• Here are the numbers of the returning lay people whose ancestors had lived in the following towns of Judah:

• people from Bethlehem* – 123

• 18 people from Netophah – 55

• people from Anathoth – 158

• people from Bethasmoth – 42

• 19 people from Kiriatharim – 25

• people from Chephirah and Beeroth – 743

• 20 Chadiasans and Ammidians – 422

• people from Kirama and Geba – 621

• 21 people from Macalon – 122

• people from Bethel – 52

• people in groups from Niphish – 156

• 22 people in groups from Ono and the other Elam – 725

• people in groups from Jericho – 345

• 23 people in groups from Senaah – 3,330
* Probable text people from Bethlehem; Greek Sons from Bethlomon.

Alternatively, “people in groups from” may be rendered “people in the families from.”

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on 1-2 Esdras. (UBS Helps for Translators). Miami: UBS, 2019. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.