He answered and told them is unnecessarily redundant; a common Hebrew idiom lies behind the Greek. A simple “told” (Good News Translation) or “said” (Contemporary English Version) is sufficient.

What had taken place at the council of Holofernes: The word translated council is the same as in 6.1. Good News Translation‘s “war council” in this context is a helpful reminder to the reader of the content of that council, and is effective in its own way in conveying a threat to the Israelites. Some translators will need a descriptive phrase here; for example, “Achior told them what had happened when Holofernes and his advisors met to discuss how to fight the Israelites.”

And all that he had said in the presence of the Assyrian leaders: It must be made clear that all that he had said refers to what Achior had said, not Holofernes. The council of Holofernes and the Assyrian leaders are the same people.

And all that Holofernes had said so boastfully against the house of Israel: House of Israel refers to the Israelite people. Both Revised Standard Version and Good News Translation have only one sentence in this verse. In some languages it will be good to begin a new sentence here; for example, “Then he told the people everything Holofernes himself had boastfully threatened to do to the Israelites.”

An alternative translation model for this verse is:

• Achior said what had happened when Holofernes and his advisors had met to discuss how to fight the Israelites. He also told what he himself had said to the Assyrian officers. He then told the people everything that Holofernes had boastfully threatened to do to the Israelites.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.