All the priests who stood before the Lord and ministered to the Lord: Good News Translation is probably mistaken in speaking of “all the others who served” as distinct from the priests. Those who stood before the Lord and those who ministered to the Lord are the same group—the priests. One may combine these two clauses with “and all the priests who served in the temple.”

With their loins girded with sackcloth: The priests went about their duties, but they were wearing sackcloth along with the people mentioned in verse 10. Another rendering for this clause is “who had sackcloth around their waists.”

Offered the continual burnt offerings and the vows and freewill offerings of the people: Three sacrifices are mentioned. The continual burnt offering is the most important. A burnt offering refers to the offering of animals that were burnt completely on the altar as a fulfilment of a promise. It was actually made twice a day (morning and evening), every day, so both Good News Translation‘s “daily burnt offering” and Contemporary English Version‘s “daily sacrifices” are a bit misleading (see Exo 29.38-42; Num 28.6, 23). It will be necessary in a number of languages to indicate what was burned and where; for example, “offered lambs [young male sheep] and burned them on the altar.” The vows may also be expressed “sacrifices offered to keep a promise” (Contemporary English Version). Freewill offerings were voluntary and made from time to time. These offerings, as well as those made voluntarily because of a vow or promise, are provided for in Lev 7.16; 22.18-30; Num 29.39. Good News Translation reverses the order of the vows and freewill offerings, but there is no good reason for translators to do this.

Quoted with permission from Bullard, Roger A. and Hatton, Howard A. A Handbook on Judith. (UBS Helps for Translators). New York: UBS, 2001. For this and other handbooks for translators see here.